Can We Prepare for Loss

It is hard to anticipate what grief is really like until you experience it. From my own experience, nothing would have prepared me for the level of pain my wife & I suffered when our Son was suddenly taken from us. We had no warning, no thought he was even in danger. Coming from that perspective I would have thought if you had more warning it would be easier. If you had more time to say goodbye, that would prepare you for what was to come. I've found out that's not necessarily the case. Letters we have received indicate otherwise. Also from counseling those with a loss, knowing ahead of time doesn't always prepare you. The question remains, how can you prepare for grief. The answer I believe is in this passage from Matthew.

The Two Foundations
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25"And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.
26"Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.
27"The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall." Matthew 7:24-27 NASB

We must build our lives on a firm foundation before the storms of life come. God is the only answer to life's uncertanties. Trust in the Lord and build your life on him. Spend time in prayer, cultivate a relationship with God. When the hard time's come, you will be better prepared to weather the storm. You will have a relationship from which you can draw strength and comfort. Jesus is the one who you can lean on in your darkest hour. The time is now, don't wait until the waves start crashing at your door to find the Solid Rock.

Special Days

As I said in my last Post I attended a funeral for a young girl. The Pastor spoke about how important our support was to the parents. I know this from personal experience from when we lost our son. I don't know what we would have done without the support of those around us. The Pastor reminded everyone not to forget the parents during days to come and the special days that can be especially difficult; Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, the day they died etc. etc. This is important information for anyone who wishes to minister to those in grief. It takes a really special person to remember those dates. I'm still amazed at the people that remember Aaron, who give my wife a Rose on mothers day, who mention to me the anniversary of Aaron's death. This past year, the anniversary was on 7/7/7. A day that many couples chose for their wedding. Aaron always said he would get married on 7/11 so he would never forget his anniversary. Instead we buried him on that day. For me seeing all these couples who were getting married on 7/7/7 was sad for me. I knew my son would never get married, or have children, and we would never have grandchildren. I think I would have made a good grandfather. Well I'm getting morose now. I just intended to encourage you to remember those special days. I think you get the point. To all those that have been there for us, thanks for remembering.

Our Hope is in Christ

This past week I attended the funeral of a young 30 year old girl who passed away suddenly. I was taken by the words of one of the Pastors that spoke. He said, I don't know what people do who don't know the Lord. He quoted a scripture that we used in Paula's book

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope." 1 Thess. 4:13

We do have a hope that we will see those we have lost and be reunited with them in heaven. The first key to handling grief is finding Christ. He is your exit visa out of this world. He is the path, he is the highway, he is the only way. Only through accepting him as a sacrifice for our sins can we be with the Lord and our loved one's in eternity. If you have not accepted Christ I encourage you to confess your sin's to God and understand that he made a sacrifice for those sins. We are not able by our own merit to be good enough to earn heaven. We can not by our deeds be good enough. That is why Christ came as a sacrifice for us. Only through that sacrifice could we approach a Holy God, our sins washed away. You must personally accept this for yourself. It is a personal commitment. I encourage you to give up trying to control your own life and give it to God. Make Him Lord and Saviour today.

Walking with you in your Valley

I am so glad you have found your way to our site. My wife Paula and I want to welcome you. We are here to help you through the grief process. If you have lost a loved one, I am so sorry for the grief and pain you are going through right now. I don't claim to be any type of expert, only a fellow traveler through this life who has been there. When we lost our only son in 2001, I felt like my world had ended. We are thankful that we had people around us to support and uplift us during that process. I don't know if we would have made it without the support of our Church & all of our friends. Please know that we would like to help you if we can; To be an ear, to offer what advice we can. Christ is the answer to all our needs, he is acquainted with our grief. The Bible says he was a man of sorrows, acquainted with our grief. He cares for and your suffering. Bless you today.